


and we all fell down when the sun came up

by Alaskaa (kosmicdust)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, IDK how to tag this tbh, Implied Acxa/Veronica (Voltron) - Freeform, Lance (Voltron) Being an Idiot, Multi, Pining Keith (Voltron), Post-Canon, but also not?, i don't want to give away the ending so just read it i guess, is that really a tag smh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 16:05:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17328170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kosmicdust/pseuds/Alaskaa
Summary: keith can't change anything.not himself.not lance.not the future.all he can do is hope for the best.again, and again, and again.





	and we all fell down when the sun came up

**Author's Note:**

> (title from "don't threaten me with a good time" by panic! at the disco)

Keith tried to be happy when he saw Lance and Allura together.

He tried to smile when Lance told him they were officially dating, that they were happy and committed. That he would never hurt or abandon Allura. That they loved each other very, very much.

He tried to ignore it and focus on the mission when he saw them close to each other, stiff smiles on their faces and awkward embraces. Keith tried to forget about how much more natural things had felt between him and Lance than they appeared to be between Lance and Allura.

When he accidentally found them kissing in the hallway- that was nothing, it didn't matter. He ignored the tiny part of him that wished he was the one kissing Lance. He said nothing, simply backed away and decided to try another route.

Keith pretended it didn't bother him when Lance and Allura got close to each other or interrupted a perfectly fine mission with what they probably considered "deep conversations." Certainly, it was nothing like talking about how much the other meant to you, how they absolutely deserved to be loved.

Sitting there, watching the sunset, had been the last time he and Lance talked. And then Lance had gone on a date with Allura.

Sometimes, Keith got the feeling the others noticed. He realized that he was spending a lot more time with Hunk than he usually did. Maybe it was because Hunk was being abandoned too, thanks to Lance constantly being with Allura? He had lunch with Pidge one time. She seemed suspicious of something. Shiro was distant these days, but he did try to be with Keith whenever he could, which wasn't often. He was still grieving. That was fine.

Acxa and Veronica seemed to be around each other a lot more often these days. On one occasion, they dragged Keith to a bazaar on a planet Voltron had never been to before, although Acxa appeared to know her way around. 

Keith wondered if Veronica knew he was pining for her brother. She had a strange twinkle in her eye, one that Keith had seen on Lance when he came up with a particularly bad idea. It was almost scary, how alike they acted sometimes.

But everything seemed terrible until Allura... got sick. Or injured. He wasn't really sure what was going on. But he smiled when Shiro looked annoyed at the insinuation they wouldn't be able to form Voltron without Allura, like he had never flown the Black Lion. He felt better when they had some sort of plan.

But then? It was just him and Lance left in the conference room.

And wasn't that fantastic.

Keith swore he felt sparks when his hand met Lance's.

It should have been terrible and cruel and awful that Allura was injured or whatever was up with her, and it was even worse that Keith was on a halfhearted mission to steal her boyfriend while she couldn't stop him, but... Keith couldn't bring himself to care?

Jealousy was a surprisingly powerful emotion.

Green was not his color, and even Pidge and Hunk agreed with that.

It didn't matter, anyways. Allura woke up way before Keith was able to make any sort of move on Lance.

He ignored the aching pain in his heart when he saw how Lance smiled at Allura, like she was his moon and stars, his other half. It was a different smile than the ones he gave Keith, and Keith tried to push the thought out of his mind.

Maybe it was for the best.

He told himself that for weeks as the battle dragged on and they fought Honerva in any way he could.

_ Your feelings towards Lance don't matter. _

He ignored their shared smiles.

_ Your feelings don't matter. _

Their laughter, their joy at being together at last, like the universe had finally righted itself.

_ Maybe you don't matter? _

Everything was perfect for them. They were happy and in love and everything went their way. 

_ You don't matter. _

But Keith's vision of himself suddenly grew small and insignificant when everything changed. Their world was shifted, like a kaleidoscope, and just like that...

Allura was gone.

She was the source of his misery these days, and now that she was gone, Keith should have been happy.

But when he saw how absolutely  _ ruined  _ Lance was, hand constantly reaching up to touch his new Altean marks, sad and confused like his inspiration had just vanished...

Keith couldn't find it in himself to be happy she was gone. Not at all.

He had thought, when she said her goodbyes, that she was about to walk right past him. She must have seen the dulled anger and defeat in his eyes, the way Keith had accepted their reality in which Lance and Allura loved each other forever and ever, happily ever after like some sort of fairy tale.

She had wrapped him up in a hug and whispered, " _ Keep them all from falling apart," _   like he had any sort of control over their emotions.

If he had control over anyone's emotions, it surely wasn't his own or his team's, because absolutely nothing good had happened to them since they resolved their fight with Lotor and Shiro's clone.

But that was what she told him before moving away, leaving him paralyzed as he watched Allura give Lance a soft kiss, his cheeks lighting up with a soft blue glow as unexplainable Altean marks formed on his face.

And the heartbreak on Lance's face had kept Keith silent on the topic of romance for the next year.

Keith watched as Lance grieved, as he fell apart doing something Keith knew he hated with a passion.

Lance deserved the stars, and even if Keith couldn't give him Allura, he would give him... something. Anything. Just to be happy.

Not to say that Keith didn't have emotions of his own. Whenever he saw Lance moping around and pretending to be enthusiastic about teaching children Allura's story, he wished he could help. Wished that Lance would notice that the rest of him were there- that  _he was still there._  He wished he and Lance could heal each other's injured hearts, find peace after years of pain.

But Keith couldn't bring himself to do anything for a long time.

It had been nearly two years since Allura's death at that point. Voltron was gone. Lance had pushed himself into working on the family farm. Keith tried visiting as often as he could- every few weeks, maybe? But even if Lance didn't hate him anymore, he didn't want him to get sick of Keith. And Keith rarely found time to coordinate his schedules with everyone else, so all of them rarely met up, meaning it was a bit difficult to keep tabs on Lance without accidentally pushing him.

But it was late at night, and they had just been talking about what else was out there while they gazed at the stars-

And Keith, following the pain in his heart that he had felt for far too long, shifted closer to Lance and curled into his side, resting his head on Lance's shoulder.

Lance only hesitated for a moment before letting his arm settle around Keith, tilting his head so that it was resting on Keith's.

It was nice.

And a tug that Keith hadn't felt so violently since before Allura's death drew Keith to get closer to Lance, doing his best to replace the empty space Allura had left behind in Lance's heart.

It was months before Lance brought it up in conversation. By then, Allura had been gone for nearly three years.

Lance should be able to move on. What Allura had been to him... it hadn't been that much, right? Their connection shouldn't have meant that much.

But, by some strange turn of events, Keith was telling himself to relax, letting himself fall into Lance's warmth, spiraling further down than Keith had anticipated. He leaned back onto Lance's chest while they sat on the couch. It was late. Lance didn't seem to care that he was holding Keith much in the way a lover would.

He had been pining after Lance for years. He deserved this. Lance deserved to do something other than wallow in his negative emotions. Keith had done that in the past, and where had it gotten him? Before he was dragged into an intergalactic war he knew nothing of, Keith had been incredibly lonely.

Lance didn't deserve to feel that way. 

_ "You know, me and Allura were like this once. It was when that parasite thing tried to get her to free it. We were going to that Clear Day thing, but she was staying behind to rest. She told me she wanted something... shiny." _

Keith closed his eyes and listened as he drowned in Lance, letting a little smile drift onto his face despite Lance's words.

_ "She... she was amazing. Everything I ever wanted." _

Keith suddenly felt Lance's hand in his hair, softly untangling the knots until it was smooth, and even then, still carding his hand through Keith's hair.

If there was a heaven, Keith had finally reached it.

So he took a risk and spoke.

"But what about what you need?"

Lance froze, and Keith turned to look at him, shifting from his warm, comfortable place to meet Lance's ocean-blue gaze. 

_ "Keith, I..." _

And then they were kissing. It was everything Keith had ever dreamed of. It was perfect and beautiful, but it felt like the universe-

-was  _ shattering- _

_ and lance's warmth was gone, and everything keith had wanted for years suddenly vanished _

_ leaving him in darkness _

_ because he was always left alone- _

_ alone alone alone- _

Light suddenly surged into his vision, and Keith lurched up, gasping for breath.

He reached up to softly brush a finger over his lips. The lips that had been kissing Lance only moments ago-

-far in the future?-

But Keith looked around and his stomach dropped, because this perfect nightmare, this  _ Quantum Abyss, _ was nothing more than the prison he had been trapped in for eternity.

Someone's hand appeared suddenly, and Keith flinched, because it was purple and he retained enough common sense to remember that purple meant  _ Galra, _ it meant  _ enemy- _

But when he looked up and realized the owner of the hand was Krolia, his shoulders drooped, both in relief and exhaustion. 

"Did you see the future again?" Krolia asked quietly.

Keith's gaze lowered back down to the ground, violet eyes fixed on the dirt he still sat on.

Soft fur brushed against his arm, and he smiled at Kosmo. Something Keith could look forward to in the future was a giant wolf. 

"Yeah," he muttered in response to Krolia's question. "It always ends at the same time, right... right when me and Lance kiss."

"I'm sorry," Krolia murmured. "Is the Altean princess still dead in the future you saw?"

He nodded, biting his lip and remembering how  _ good  _ it felt to see Allura out of commission.

Keith was disgusting, to prioritize his useless emotions over Allura's health. But there was nothing he could do. Nothing could stop the future.

He knew what would happen, and he hated it. Hated that he lived through the next years of his life while asleep. Hated that the same things happened every time, without fail.

Because Keith still loved Lance.

But there was still one important thing from the future that he didn't know-

 

 

_ Did Lance ever love Keith? _

**Author's Note:**

> lmao i wrote this on my phone while making dinner  
> when i finished i just sorta stood there and wondered why
> 
> :(
> 
> i love my sad bois
> 
> rip klance


End file.
